I can't believe this. I have "writer's block." Me! After all these years as an art columnist, I suddenly have nothing to say.

I know some of you will maintain that I never did have anything to say, but at least I could string a bunch of sentences together. Used to be I'd just sit down at the computer and think of a subject and the column would pretty much write itself. After two or three hours there it would be; I hardly even had to make any changes.

And now here I am … nothing! Not a single word.

I used to get an art publication that had a monthly column on the "psychology of art," which dealt mostly with creative block - the problem of artists sitting down in front of canvases and not being able to start painting.

I always thought it was a crock; I never knew any artists (or writers or musicians) who could afford to have creative blocks. All the ones I was ever acquainted with were under constant deadline pressure and got up every morning and worked like mad, just like self-employed people in any other profession.

"Who is this written for?" I would wonder, "What kind of whiny narcissistic poser gets creative blocks?"

I mean, nobody would tolerate this kind of behavior in other professionals. What if you went to the hospital to get your spleen removed and the surgeon said, "Y'know, I'm just not feelin' it today … maybe in the next couple of weeks something will come to me…"

"The artistic temperament is a disease that affects amateurs," according to G.K. Chesterton (1874-1936), "Artists of a large and wholesome vitality get rid of their art easily, as they breathe easily or perspire easily. But in artists of less force, the thing becomes a pressure, and produces a definite pain, which is called the artistic temperament."

I suspect that creative block is an important aspect of the artistic temperament and, consequently, I must be getting amateurish in my old age. I'm certainly not getting "rid" of this column easily. At this point I am driven to the expedient of Googling "writer's block," and am directed to "Wikipedia," where I find the following information:

"Most writer's block lasts between an hour and a week, sometimes over a month. There have been cases where (it) lasted for years or decades. The most notable example of this in modern literary history was Henry Roth's writer's block which persisted for 60 years. … Writer's block has caused problems for writers using the serial form, such as Stephen King's 'The Green Mile.'"

The idea of Stephen King having writer's block doesn't exactly strike me as being a major literary tragedy, but man. Poor old Henry Roth - 60 years!

After a couple of decades, most people would have concluded that they weren't actually writers at all, and to his credit, Mr. Roth went out and got a succession of real jobs rather than lying around reading articles about writer's block. And he did start writing again, though he didn't have a lot of time left.

I'm assuming my own writer's block won't last 60 years, but if it does, my next column won't come out until 2067, shortly after the Mountain View Road project is completed.

The Wikipedia article goes on to state, under "Other kind of creative blocks," (that's how it's written), "The loss of inspiration can happen in almost any way, the second most common is artist block where one cannot be inspired to create new pictures of art."

The phrase "pictures of art" presents grammatical and philosophical issues that I could go into at great length if I wasn't suffering from writer's block, but really, I don't think you can nit-pick when you're using Wikipedia quotes to fill space in a newspaper column.

Be that as it may, I've come to the realization that creative block is a real problem that needs to be addressed seriously and should probably have large amounts of government grant money directed at it. I'm feeling very apologetic for having scoffed at it for so long.

As it stands, I think I'm simply going to have to e-mail my editor and say "Sorry, I just couldn't come up with anything this month."

Possibly the Journal, in view of my years of faithful service, will send me to Hawaii for some R and R.

Possibly not.

James Van Nuys is an oil and watercolor painter and musician living and working in Rapid City. Readers may send comments or questions to him in care of The Rapid City Journal, Box 450, Rapid City SD 57709.