Back from a week from vacation, and what better way to greet 3 a.m. than sifting through some of the best odd news of the past week?
Of course, these days, with daily updates on the Michael Jackson death investigation and coming off Sturgis rally coverage, odd news is certainly a subjective state of news judgment.
Nevertheless, it is truly one of the treats of being in the news business in trying to track down the news that, when it doesn't make you smile, it at least makes you snicker.
Here's a short list of some of the best odd news of the past few weeks.
A whole lotta toe poppin' oddness
And you wonder why people are concerned about education in our country? Look no further than this fun little story out of Tampa, Fla., about a high school assistant principal whose primary form of punishment for wayward students is popping them not in the nose, but by the toes.
Apparently, it wasn't uncommon for King High School's Olayinka Alege to call into his office students whose grades had slipped and have them promptly remove their shoes and socks for a pulling of the toes.
No, not too hard, at least not according to the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office or State's Attorney Office. Just hard enough to pop, and to embarrass a student or two.
Alege's defense: He didn't want to traumatize students but needed to a way to punish students that wouldn't physically harm them.
Um, yeah …
Today, Birmingham, England; tomorrow, American Idol?
The advent of reality TV talent shows and the worldwide explosion of karaoke bars has brought an unprecedented rise in the exposure of really bad singing. But not since American Idol "star" William Hung's debut album (yes, there was more than one) has off-key performance been used so audaciously to try and scrape up some dough.
British duo James Ryan and Andrew Cave's late-night and badly out-of-tune renditions of two tracks - and two tracks only - "Wonderwall" by Oasis and "Faith" by George Michael were designed to have Birmingham residents give up their hard earned cash to get them to stop playing and move on.
What the performers got instead was a legal order to cease and desist as the Birmingham municipal judge from entering the Birmingham suburb of Moseley Village and barred from playing musical instruments there.
Here's to hoping those in Hollywood will take it to the next logical step, imposing similar penalties for actor/ahem… singer Pierce Brosnan from attempting similar atrocities (like those committed in the film version of "Mama Mia") on film-goers worldwide.
There are crimes, and then there are crimes against fashion. It's never good when the two coincide
An 18-year-old Conn. man is being held on $50,000 bail after a brief crime spree that included breaking into a number of vehicles in East Hartford and making off with such high-ticket items as CDs and gas cans.
Of course, the teen claimed to have been drinking heavily and smoking marijuana in the hours leading up to his mini crime spree, and he should have, considering that when police were able to track him down, his lone item of clothing was simply a Speedo.
You've got mail, and maybe an STD
The Brazilian Health Ministry has launched a new program that allows those who know they have contracted a sexually transmitted disease to let their loved ones know without all the awkwardness of a face-to-face confrontation.
Instead, they may simply visit the state-sponsored Web site that allows them to share the news via an e-card.
One such card shows a young man reclining in his underwear and says: "Hi! I don't know if this is the best way to tell you, but I've learned that I have an STD." It goes on to suggest that the recipient should probably see a doctor.
Needless to say, the cards may allow the amorous to share the news with their partners without a whole lot of immediate embarrassment, but I'm guessing receiving such an e-mail could put a permanent damper on the relationship.
Elmo grows up, goes all Sean Penn in NYC
Who'd have thunk? After years of keeping up a strong public persona as cute, happy little muppet on countless episodes of Sesame Street, DVDs and live performances apparently has grown up and taken on a less-than-affable attitude, especially when it comes to the media.
A reporter and photographer from the New York Daily News on Friday caught up with a man-sized replica of the once cuddly character who was reported in front of Planet Hollywood in Times Square, demanding money from people.
When he didn't get it, he cussed and jostled the tourist crowds. He reportedly told one Texas tourist: "No picture. No picture. You have to tip Elmo. You have to tip Elmo or Elmo gets angry."
Talk about the childhood star syndrome personified.
Meanwhile, things apparently reached a climax when the Daily News reporter and photographer arrived, sparking the Elmo-imposter to lurch out in an attempt to confiscate the photographer's camera.
When he failed, he offered up a sheepish apology, saying, "Look man, Elmo needs to make a living, too."
Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
