RAPID CITY - Ginny
Tocci carries a single word and date tattooed on her back. For the
rest of her life Ginny will carry the name of a friend who
committed suicide last spring.
"She was the
happiest person," Ginny said, recalling the 16-year-old friend she
lost on St. Patrick's Day. Her friend died within days of making
plans to spend some time with Ginny.
After her friend's
death, Ginny, a senior at Central High School, admits that she
considered suicide. A conversation with another girl, who also felt
suicidal, helped her work through those thoughts, she
says.
They may not have
realized it at the time, but sharing their sorrows and pain likely
saved the girls lives.
"To reach out to
each other is the way you save your friends," says Dr. Mark Garry,
a psychiatrist at Rapid City Regional Behavioral Health Center and
Sioux San Hospital.
According to the
National Center for Disease Control, suicide was the third-leading
cause of death for young people between the ages of 10 and 24 in
2004. Suicide rates jumped 76 percent among 10- to 14-year-old
girls, and 32 percent among older teen girls, those aged
15-19.
In a 10-year period
from 1993-2002, South Dakota had 1,068 suicide deaths. Twelve
percent of those who successfully completed suicide were youths
between the ages of 10 and 19.
Counselors at
Central High School talk with teenagers every week who have
expressed a desire to end their lives.
"Here's the sad,
but true case - there are a lot of kids who have thoughts, and we
do two to four potential suicides a week," said counselor Sandy
Thovson.
Thovson has worked
as a counselor at Central for the past eight years. The school of
2,200 students is a small community with many of the accompanying
problems.
Most people do not
realize the pain there is in being a teenager today, Thovson said.
She speaks daily with students who juggle classes, a job,
relationships and family issues.
After the September
death of a Central High School student, Garry was invited to speak
with parents of Central students.
Life for teens gets
more complicated every day, Garry said. Kids deal with many
depressing issues in their lives.
And, the messages
they hear about suicide being a snap decision are
confusing.
Garry said it is a
mistake for people to think that suicide is prompted by a one-time
event in a person's life.
"When a person is
suicidal, it is something that builds up over time," Garry said.
Suicide is often the manifestation of a mental illness, he said.
"And, that mental illness is often very treatable."
Unfortunately,
there is still a stigma about seeking help from a mental health
professional.
"In today's
society, it's getting better, but there's still a big 'no-no' about
going to talk to someone like myself," Garry said. "It's still
looked upon as shameful or there's a stigma."
In his
conversations with parents and teens, Garry relates a message of
hope that there is something they can do to prevent a
suicide.
"If there is a
positive, it has to be how do we help others to keep them from
getting to that place," he said.
It has been
scientifically shown that making a connection with someone can
reduce their suicide risk, Garry said.
"Even just someone
saying 'Are you suicidal?' and talking to you for five minutes
reduces the suicide risk exponentially," he said.
Seeking comfort and
support from a friend is a lesson Ginny has learned over her four
years at Central as a member of a group of girls that meets
regularly with Thovson.
The girls are
members of one of several groups Thovson and other counselors
sponsor.
"We have been doing
groups for loss and grief, self-esteem, anger management,
relationship skills … the range is pretty broad," Thovson
said.
When school started
in September, students were in her office clamoring for their
"group" to start, Thovson said.
Students who
participate in a group only do so with their parents'
permission.
The rules are
simple - listen with respect, what's said in group stays in group,
as long as there is no threat to a member or someone
else.
"There's a big
trust value," Ginny said. "We know that if we say it, it cannot get
out."
Group is a good
place, according to senior Courtney Wood.
"You can get all
your frustration out and everybody understands," she
said.
Courtney belongs to
another group, but she recently sat in on a session with Ginny and
her group that includes Brittany Ashlin and Sonya Orr.
It was the first
time the girls had been together with Thovson after a long summer.
The conversation swirled around boyfriends, work and family
problems.
To an observer it
appears that the girls have learned to appreciate each other's
individual qualities. Strong personalities voluntarily control
themselves to give a quieter member time to speak.
When Sonya breaks
into tears, Ginny quickly rounds the table to give her a hug.
Another offers comfort by taking her hand.
"I wouldn't be here
without the group," Sonya admitted.
Brushing a tear
from her own eye, Ginny cracked a joke about ruined mascara and the
girls dissolved into laughter.
"This is what
happens when you get to group," Ginny said. "If you cry in front of
other people they don't understand. Here you can cry and then in
two seconds, we're like laughing no matter how bad the situation
is."
Kids are more
likely to go to peers who can identify with them than adults when
they are considering suicide, Garry said.
"Kids would rather
talk to a friend than me … a guy in a tie with an office," he
said.
Across town at
Stevens High School, counselor Sandy McLain supervises a team of 13
peer leaders who make themselves available to talk with any of the
school's 1,500 students. Peer leaders are selected from each
class.
Each peer leader
has a scheduled time in the guidance office where students can meet
with them privately. They are available to talk about school or
personal issues.
Like Thovson, the
peer leaders follow a policy of confidentiality unless there is the
possibility that the students could harm themselves or
others.
Sophomore Nicole
Dela Cruz supervises a team of four freshman peer leaders that
recently met with all of Steven's freshmen to talk about high
school expectations.
The meetings were
also a good time to discuss suicide and the warning signs of
suicide, she said.
"Most kids our age
would like to not think that suicides happen," peer leader Brittany
Renkenberger, 14, said.
"They pretend they
don't want to hear it, but they do," Nicole said. Even if only one
student heard the message, the effort was worth the time, she
said.
Friends are the
best people to recognizing the symptoms of suicide and making a
connection with that person, Garry said.
They also need to
be prepared to used the "S-word" and ask if someone is
contemplating suicide, he said.
"Being able to ask
that question and feeling connected to people is what's going to
stop or lower your suicide rates, especially with kids," Garry
said.
Contact Andrea Cook
at 394-8423 or andrea.cook@rapidcityjournal.com
Suicide is
not a split-second decision
By Andrea J. Cook,
Journal staff
RAPID CITY - A
report of a depressed or troubled student who gives indications of
suicide is always taken seriously by counselors at Rapid City's
Central and Steven high schools.
"I've had kids in
group disclose," said Central counselor Sandy Thovson, who meets
regularly with support groups of Central students.
Groups focus on a
variety of issues including grief, self-esteem and anger
management.
Kids eagerly seek
the support of a group, Thovson said.
And, they are good
at networking with each other to bring kids into a group for help,
she said.
Counselors always
contact parents or guardians when they encounter a troubled student
and are prepared to make referrals to mental health providers in
the city.
Dr. Mark Garry, a
psychiatrist at Rapid City Regional Behavioral Center and Sioux San
Hospital, says suicide is not a snap decision, but something that
builds over time.
Families and loved
ones of those contemplating suicide spend a lot of time looking
back and trying to recreate the situation searching for something
they could have done differently, he said.
"The message that I
always try to give is that sometimes there's just nothing you can
find," Garry said. "And, that this person was hurting in many
different ways."
Garry does have a
list of warning signs which parents and friends should watch
for:
- Talking about
death as a positive experience, not spiritually, but as a way to
escape the struggles the individual is going through. "It's easier
to die."
- Talking about
reuniting with someone who has completed suicide. "I'd like to go
back and be with them."
- Becoming more
withdrawn from family and friends, showing signs of depression,
losing interest in hobbies and other interests.
- Watching sad
movies or things that are very dark.
- Listening to
darker music; and
- Giving messages
in writings and poetry.
Garry encourages
parents to talk with their children if they are concerned, even
when their questions are met with denial.
"Get right in there
point blank," he said. "Talk openly and don't be afraid to use the
'S' word."
Contemplating suicide?
If you or someone
you know is suicidal please call any of the following 24-hour
helplines:
The National
Suicide Prevention Lifeline at: 1-800-273-TALK
(1-800-273-8255).
The National
Hopeline at: 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433).
Behavior Management
Systems in Rapid City at: 343-7262.
The South Dakota
Rural Helpline for counseling referrals in your area
at:
1-800-664-1349.
If you or someone
you know is in an emergency situation and needs help immediately,
always call 911.
Suicide
support groups
The Black Hills
Area Survivors of Suicide support group meets monthly. Anyone who
has lost someone to suicide is welcome to join the group. For more
information call 721-7720 or 209-0292.
The Front Porch
Coalition, a suicide prevention advocacy group, coordinates
volunteers that assist local law enforcement officers when a
suicide is reported.
The Pennington
County Coroner's Office averages at least one reported suicide a
month, according to Stephanie Schweitzer Dixon, community services
director for the Front Porch Coalition.
At least two
members of LOSS (Local Outreach to Suicide Survivors) carry a pager
at all times. One team member is a therapist and the other a
suicide survivor. The LOSS team looks out for those that are left
behind, Schweitzer Dixon said.
The team stays with
survivors to give support and answer questions. They remain until
someone close to the survivors arrives.
The LOSS team can
always use more volunteers, Schweitzer Dixon said.
For more
information contact the Front Porch Coalition at
348-6692.
Screening
for depression
National Depression
Screening Day is Thursday, Oct. 11.
Behavior Management
Systems will be offering free, confidential screening online at
www.behaviormanagement.org. The results will be seen by no one but
you.
Go to
www.behaviormanagement.org, click on signs and symptoms, then click
on screenings and then depression. After answering yes or no to 16
questions, you will know if you are experiencing depression and
what you can do for help.
This year, the
emphasis for National Depression Screening Day is
suicide.
If you are
experiencing signs of depression such as irritability, hopelessness
or anxiety, go online to take the screening or call Behavior
Management Systems at 343-7262.
