Skip to main content
You have permission to edit this article.

annie 08 08 20

Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 37 years. We were separated for five years and, recently, have started spending time together again, with an interest in reuniting. But we've found that we get along better while he has his apartment and I have my apartment. What do you think, Annie? Do you think we should move into one apartment together, even though we are enjoying the current arrangement? -- One Marriage, Two Houses

Dear OMTH: Home isn't an address. It's a sense of belonging that you create together, under one roof or two. So, if the current setup works for you both, then why not continue? It's not the way things are usually done, but it's better to be unconventional and happy than conventional and unhappy.

Dear Annie: Recently, I appreciated a letter to you so much that I cut it out and inserted it in my meditation book. "Still Learning" wrote: "Two things have caused me to be a happier person. One is dropping my expectations of others, and the other is choosing not to be offended." The "Concerned Mother" in your recent column whose daughter didn't invite her to stay in her home but instead wanted her to go to a hotel should be referred to this thought. Simply dropping expectations or choosing not to be offended would help her get past her frustration with her daughter in addition to helping her become a happier person. -- Arlean L.

Dear Arlean: Letting go of expectations is excellent advice for "Concerned Mother" -- and the rest of us. Thank you for writing.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from "The Smiths." This couple had a nice lake house that they wanted to share with visitors but were frustrated with visitors' not bringing things. While I think it would be nice if the guests would offer to make a meal, or offer to pay for a meal in a restaurant, I find it appalling that someone would have guests visit and expect them to bring their own food. It appears that these people want to show off the fact that they can afford a nice lake house, but don't want to extend common courtesies that etiquette requires. -- Still a Gracious Host

You must be logged in to react.
Click any reaction to login.

Stay up-to-date on what's happening

* I understand and agree that registration on or use of this site constitutes agreement to its user agreement and privacy policy.

Related to this story

Most Popular

Dear Annie: My husband of 50 years had an affair with an old college lover for about a year. Both are in their late 70s. I found out two month…

DEAR DR. ROACH: The rims of my ears both get so sore I can't even sleep on them. What can I do? -- W.W.

DEAR DR. ROACH: Does our skin make vitamin D from sun exposure through a car's windshield? Sometimes I expose my stomach for about 10 minutes …

DEAR DR. ROACH: I belong to a garden club that meets in a local indoor hall. We have one member who has been driving herself crazy worrying ab…

DEAR DR. ROACH: You recently replied to a question regarding vaccination among health care workers by saying "they are ethically obligated to …

Get up-to-the-minute news sent straight to your device.


News Alert

Breaking News